Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2, The Movie That Broke My Brain at a Sleepover

I need to tell you about the worst film I have ever loved.

I was a kid, round at a mate's house, and his little brother had Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 on DVD. We put it on as a joke. We did not stop watching. By the end the three of us were just sort of staring at the telly, quiet, the way you go quiet after something genuinely strange happens to you.

Because this film is not normal. Let me try to explain it and I promise I'm not making any of this up.

There are babies. The babies can talk to each other in a secret baby language. Fine, that's the first one's whole deal, whatever. But this time there's a super baby. His name is Kahuna. He has super strength, he doesn't age, and at one point he gets into a full kung fu fight. A baby. Throwing hands. The mouths are CGI'd to move and it looks like nothing your eyes are built to process.

And the villain? Jon Voight. Actual Oscar winner Jon Voight, in a silver wig, playing an evil media mogul who wants to hypnotise the world's children through the television so they'll stay inside and never play outside again. He says his lines like he's being held somewhere against his will. I think about his face in this movie more than I think about most real things.

Here's the bit that still gets me. The hero babies transform into superheroes. Brain Boy. Bouncing Boy. Cupid Girl. There's a flying car. The bad guy gets turned into a baby at the end and immediately starts arguing about who has to change his nappy. I watched all of this happen and my eleven-year-old self simply had to accept that it was real.

It bombed, obviously. Made back less than half its money. Sits at a flat 0% on Rotten Tomatoes, which honestly feels like an achievement in itself, like getting full marks but backwards. It got Razzie nominations for basically everything. People who write about the worst films ever made put it near the top, and they're right to.

But that's the thing nobody tells you about truly terrible films. The boring bad ones you forget by the car ride home. This one moved into my head and never left. Me and that mate still text each other "KAHUNA" out of nowhere, twenty years on, and we both know exactly what it means.

So no, I will not be defending this movie. It's indefensible. It's also the most fun I've ever had being baffled by a screen, and I'd hand it to anyone who's never suffered through it in a heartbeat.

Watch it with people you like. Watch it late. Don't watch it sober if you can help it. And when Jon Voight turns into a baby, just let it wash over you. There's no fighting it. There never was.

Have you survived Superbabies? Got a so-bad-it's-incredible film you secretly adore? Tell me down below, and chuck any trivia we missed onto the movie page. Misery loves company, and so does a terrible movie.