American Pie Presents: Band Camp

"We didn't have MTV when I was growing up. So maybe it's the overstimulated times that we live in that causes young men to stick their... instruments in such... odd places. I knew a certain young man once who actually engaged in sexual congress with an apple pie, and he turned out just fine. So, uhh... you're perfectly normal."

"You know you're like your brother Steve? And I don't think those are the shoes you should be so eager to fill. You know the people Steve thought were his friends? Really didn't like him very much. But I think you're different. I think people wanna like you, Matt, you just make it really hard."

"Oz's brother: Hey, Stifler, how come Steve's got all the talent in your family?"

"Kevin's brother: Come on, man, you're missing it."

"Stifler: I've seen it a million times, you fucking ass-booger."

"Oz's brother: Matt, Stever is like a film making genius. A true American hero."

"Kevin's brother: The Tarantino of titties!"

"Oz's brother: Yeah, there's just no way you come be this good."