Clerks II

"Written and directed by Kevin Smith"

"One semester we took Criminology, for Christ's sake! Criminology! Who the fuck were we studying to be; Batman?"

"What's the point of having an Internet connection if you're not using it to look at weird, fucked-up pictures of dirty sex you'll never have yourself?"

"All right look, there's only one "Return", okạy, and it ain't of the King. It's of the Jedi."

"You're my best friend and I love you, in a totally heterosexual way. Please don't leave me."

"Who would be friends with me? I hate everyone and everything seems stupid to me."

"You never go ass to mouth!"

"What'd you do that for?! You realise he just thinks you're trying to get him into a three-way with us now, don't you?"