A Christmas Story

"Hey, smart ass. I asked my old man about sticking your tongue to a flagpole in the winter, and he says that it'll freeze right to the pole, just like I told ya."

"Scut Farkus: [to Ralphie] Listen, jerk! When I tell you to come, you better come! [Ralphie starts quivering] What? Are you gonna cry now? Come on, crybaby, cry for me! Come on! CRY, HA HA!!! [begins mock crying and laughing]"

"Mr. Parker: It's a clinker! That blasted, stupid funace."

"Mr. Parker: Dadgummit! Damn skates! For Christ's sake, open up the damper, will you? Who the hell turned it all the way down again? Ah, blasted! You beast!"

"Ralphie (as an adult): In the heat of battle, my father wove a tapestry of obscenity that, as far as we know, is still hanging in space over Lake Michigan."

"Randy: [wailing] I can't put my arms down! [continues bawling, as Mother tries unsuccessfully to put his arms down]"

"Mother: Well, put your arms down when you get to school. [winds scarf around Randy's neck, as he starts wailing once more]"

"Mr. Parker: Thanks a lot, guys. Merry Christmas. Get the crowbar and a hammer, Ralphie. Go on. [mispronouncing] Uh, "fra-gee-lay." It must be Italian."