Old School

"True love is hard to find. Sometimes you think you have true love and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a goddamn magic show, ready to double-team your girlfriend..."

"At this point, you might be asking yourself, "Why am I holding this 30-pound cinder block in my hands?" You might also ask yourself, "Why does this cinder block have a long piece of string tied to it?" And finally, "Why is the other end of this string tied securely to your penis?""

"All I want to do is get some fucking sleep."

"This is my house. I live here, Beanie. I'm 30 years old. None of us are enrolled in the college."

"Ah Denver, The sunshine state... Denver?! Gorgeous!"

"You know I was thinking we could go back home...have some dinner and pop in the Sisqo CD...no? Weren't thinking that? Okay."

"So what do you guys like better? Nurse or cheerleader? Oh, hi Nicole. Have fun at the wedding?"

"That's how you do it. That's how you debate."