Bean

"I've given my life to art and from here on in, the only art I will get anywhere near are the pictures I draw on the pavement hoping passersby will throw nickels in my hat. I guess the long on the short of it: I wish I'd never been born."

"I don't know the difference between Picasso and a car crash."

"Jennifer Langley: [sarcastically] You're kidding."

"David Langley: Come on, it's gonna be great! Let's say there's a chart of the most intelligent people you've ever met in your lives. Well, at number one with the bullet is Dr. Bean."

"David Langley: Kevin, you know how sometimes you ask me questions that I can't answer."

"Kevin Langley: Yeah, like "What is an intrauterine device"?"

"David Langley: I think more like "What's the meaning of life?""

"Kevin Langley: I never asked you that."