What Women Want

"You talk to me like a woman, you think like a woman. Nick, come on, admit it. You're totally and completely gay!"

"You know what's the difference between a wife and a job? After fifteen years, a job still sucks."

"There's way too much estrogen on TV these days."

"Why do guys like to do it in front of a mirror? Because "objects appear larger than they actually are"."

"You know that whole deal about "penis envy"? Not true. No. Half of women don't even like it. You know who has penis envy? We do. That's why we cheat and we lie, because we're all obsessed with our own equipment!"

"I don't want that to be it. I don't want that to be it at all."

"Then don't let a little thing like me firing you stand in your way."

"What kind of knight in shining armor would I be if the man I love needs rescuing and I just let him walk out my door?"