Step Brothers

"(Banging Dale's snare drum with his scrotum) John Bonham's playing Moby Dick for real!"

"(Playing with Dale's drumset, as he yells in one of the drums) FUCK YOU, DALE! FUCK YOU!!"

"(Sleep-talking) I'll kill you, Leonard Nimoy."

"(At Derek's birthday gathering, during his and Dale's presentation of Prestige Worldwide) Last week, we put Liquid Paper on a bee... And it died."

"(Wearing a Nazi outfit, to some home buyers) Hey, fuckers! Welcome to the neighborhood! My name is Craig. If you guys need any fertilizer, I've got a lot of it; Close to 80 tons. (to Derek, after the home buyers leave) Hey, Derek! Sprechen Sie Dick?"

"(In regards to Robert and Nancy, who are retiring, selling their residence and having him and Dale live on their own as adults) Hold on; We're not going on the boat... Derek's selling the house... We have to go therapy? (Robert nods in response) WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED!?"

"(After singing for Dale, upon his request) I felt like I was hovering over my own body, watching myself sing."

"(On Christmas Day, regarding his Chewbacca mask) It's okay that mine's not movie quality."